It's Okay

This semester at university has been tough. Tougher than it should have been. And I've been wanting to quit basically since the semester began. The last couple weeks, I've been contemplating whether I should take on a second course next semester, or just stick with one. Well, I have made my decision. I'm not going to come back at all.

In 2014, when Serge & Sew changed ownership, I voiced my desire to become the sewing machine technician for the store, as one of the previous owners held the position at the time. I want turned down as the intention was for the new owner's husband was to be trained for the job. I was told that was men's work. 

In 2015, I got to meet the regional technician for PFAFF, a man named Brian. I asked him how one becomes a sewing machine tech and he informed me that you had to hold a position with a business that was an official PFAFF dealer to be trained by PFAFF. I asked how a person is supposed to get a position without training, but all I got in response was a shrug. 

In 2016, I came to Edmonton. Discouraged from my attempts to get into this bizarre trade, I moved out here to go to school to become a math teacher. I got a job in another quilting shop pretty easily with my experience from Serge & Sew. This summer, I had a chat with one of the techs at Johnson's, my new place of work, and he was showing me something on a machine. He told me that he has to retire sometime and someone would have to replace him. 

I went to my boss and told him that I wanted to be a tech and that I would like to be trained. He told me that he already knew that because Brian (remember the regional PFAFF tech?) had told him so. Apparently, Brian was keeping an ear out for a position for me until he had heard that I moved away to go to university. After some deliberation, my boss told me that when Andy retires, if I want the job, it's mine. 

In the mean time, I still went forward with schooling. It sucked right from the get-go. I had no time. I didn't get what was being told to me. I didn't know anyone. And now that the semester is almost over, somehow it finally hit me. This isn't what I want to do. I clearly want to be a sewing machine technician. I have an opportunity in the semi-near future for that to happen. And I am wasting my time, energy, money and happiness trying to half-ass my way through school for a job I don't even really want. 

I know it isn't glamorous. It isn't going to make me a lot of money. It isn't something people are going to view as a major success. And that's okay. Because I love it! I love puzzles - being able to figure out what the problem is with each machine will be great. I love mechanics. I love sewing! And I really don't mind my lifestyle of simple and cheap. So it's okay. Screw what anyone else thinks of my job or lifestyle.  

It's okay!